It was me

It was me

It is not the first I live alone, so I am not worried at all. I think I did it years ago, and I felt alone at home when my parents were fighting, so solitude can’t be a problem for me anymore. Honestly, I even prefer it. I am 51 years old now and I think I already lived what I had to live with people around me; I just want to be quiet from now on. I was living in another country, but my family sent me here because I need to take care of this house. When I first saw it, I thought it was completely abandoned; it looked a little bit scary, to be honest. And, for some reason, when I saw it, a strange thought passed through my mind, it was like I had seen it before, over and over again, as in a dream or something similar. I’ve never had this feeling before towards any object or house. Standing right in front of it, I quivered a little bit, but it’s very dark right now, I don’t even know what time it is and I should sleep today; I might have a lot of things to clean tomorrow.

Today, when I woke up, I felt a strange urge to take a shower. Even though it was not hot last night, my shirt was sticky, and I could swear I wasn’t sweating whatsoever. I am having a coffee right now, in order to process what’s happening in this house. My family sent me here because this was an old house that belonged to them. The city wanted to destroy it because no one lived in it, and this house seemed to be a huge thing for some members of my family, and it became a problem when they saw a huge sign in the front yard that said: “On sale”. We all knew that the city didn’t want to sell it, they wanted to destroy it. I think I was very sleepy last night because I don’t even remember how I chose the room I slept in. After waking up I realized this house was bigger than I thought; four rooms on the second floor, one huge living room, two bathrooms, and stairs everywhere. A couple of minutes ago I cleaned the living room and the kitchen, it was certainly filled with dust, I still need to clean the bedrooms but I am really tired.

-What! What happened? –I scream. I hear noises in the front yard, an ambulance and a police car parking there. I suddenly woke up and when I saw the hour and who was standing in the front yard, I couldn’t believe what was happening, because in the middle of the ambulance and the police car, there was a body there. I went downstairs to see what was happening. I almost barfed when I saw the body, it was a woman and it seemed she was stabbed multiple times. I am horrified because I have never seen a dead body before. They took the woman up in the ambulance and everyone started leaving; because they never asked me anything, I thought it was better to go to bed again, even though I knew I wouldn’t sleep.

But that night I never knew I would never sleep anymore because another murder was committed the very next night, at the very same hour. I woke up screaming: “What happened?” and not only did I feel loneliness because no one could hear me in here, but I also felt panic; there might be a serial killer around. I put my clothes on and went downstairs, to the front yard, to see what was happening. It was another woman; an ambulance and a police car were there. I felt uneasy so I started making some questions. There were two young men next to me and I asked them: “What happened? Is there a serial killer?”

-Did you see that? Dude, I can’t believe something like that happened in here.

-I know, dude, but this is a quiet place, I think this is a perfect zone to murder someone, that’s how the killer might have thought.

-But, was it actually a serial killer?

-It might be

I heard them and got really scared, mostly because I live alone, no one’s here to protect me. If someone attacked me, I don’t know what I am going to do. I went to sleep again and, in bed, I think of how I can defend myself, whether it’s with knives but… I have never used them. I am scared. I better sleep, I haven’t done it in 48 hours already, I might be seeing things that don’t exist.

*****

What?! What happened?! – I screamed again. I woke up but it’s still at night, I can’t believe I slept this much. I hear an ambulance and a police car. This situation seems terrifying and absurd for me, it’s happening again. I went downstairs and there’s a dead body there, another woman. A serial killer is murdering lonely women around this country, and I might feel I’ll be the next one. There’s an old lady next to me, but she doesn’t say anything, she just stares at the body, and when someone tries to talk to her, she says: “There’s no serial killer, stop imagining fake things”.

At that very moment I realize something, the ambulance was exactly the same, from the same hospital, and the police car was exactly the same, and the same police officers. They also exchanged the same words, as though it was a script. I… This is absurd. I even believed this was just a dream I was living, well, just a nightmare that keeps repeating over and over again. It seems impossible that a serial killer can do the same three days in a row, with no one chasing him.

But, the very next day I discovered the truth, because the situation happened again and when I saw the same officers, the same people, the same conversations among them, the same ambulance, the same cars, and the same woman, who was stabbed, the truth passed through my mind, and I decided to walk towards the body, while no one noticed me and I saw it, I saw it there.

The stabbed woman was me; the same situation, the sticky shirt, the sign “On sale” on the front yard, everything is clear now. I will go to sleep and I hope I won’t wake up anymore.